Concern

Still not gettin a real diary. 

Haven't go out to the outside world yet that's why. 

All i do is waking up as late as i possibly can , eat and go on the internet and eat and go on the goddamn internet and sleep and basically repeating that all over again the next day and the next days.

How cool is that

I am upset at myself for doing this but i can't stop doing it cuz in the same time it feel so relax so lazy and so free like you don't have to care about a single shit on the planet. You just breath in and out. I could anticipate my brain might stop working one day cuz i never use it to think of anything anymore.

Did not shower last night.

Woke up this afternoon (4.30pm) still haven't shower until now (2am)  

Thanks god i was able to brush my teeth and wash my face.

So from neck up is kinda clean but body stinky.

Been watching movie all day.

At least i found something good to watch. 

I really need to stop doing this to myself 

But oh god it's just so hard.

i think i feel pretty normal today. And normal day to me means im pretty happy and i am.

But it's just the fact that it's such a useless life?...or i don't know.

To be honest i like it like this but i know i can't do this forever and the idea of not doing a thing all day long is considered as such a waste of one's life noone should ever live their life like that right?

Even though it's what I secretly hope I could do it everyday....hmm
Imagine how chillax life would be 
but maybe that also comes with how meaningless you would feel...   

A little bit of emotional roller-coaster day

well it's good it means I'm not as chill as i think i am and that my brain still working somewhat since i still have this worry about my life.

I still give some shit and that should be a relief!

Today I'm thankful for:

-I do have a concern about my own life

I guess it's difficult to think of things you're thankful for when you didn't do a damn thing all day 

long.